Anytime you think you changed your mind,

A lot of stuff's been happenin'.

Got a 28 cent raise at work. Woohoo. <--Sarcasm. But it was unexpected, so that was nice.

Got accepted at UCCS and am now working on scholarships.

My Step-Grandfather is in the hospital (in CA), so I'm sort of expecting having to go to a funeral soon.


And the harddrive I wiped had a bunch of pictures on it. :/ So here's an old one, because I don't want to mess with it.

Opera is incompatable with Blogspot, so I might quit this.

Run away, run away, run away, again, fine.

I nearly died today.
Not a physical death, but a spiritual one.
When I realized that 39 + 10 + 1 did not equal 40, and that I had just partitioned/formatted the wrong harddrive, it was heart-wrenching. I then experienced what was close to the divine upon realization that I had not just killed all of my writing, art, and photos from as far back as 1998. No, just 26+ gig of rare anime that's taken me months to find + download. Yes, that in itself is depressing, but far less devastating. Especially because software exists for fucking morons like me that recover data when you accidentally format your drive. My hopes are not high...but hopefully I can at least recover Lodoss-tou Senki and Legend of Crystania.

As such, I have no working system, (I'm using my Wii.) and am struggling to install Ubuntu's Feisty Fawn.

I might have to buy Fire Emblem for the GBA as a consolation prize, of all the wireless cards in the world, mine is the one that won't work with Feisty without days of effort and frustration.


No picture today- no way to upload one.us

Kiss your Apocalypse for the last, last time,

Because Marc probably missed it when I posted it on Gaia.  



I know I can do anything, academically or career-wise, that I care to, but I can't quite shake this nagging feeling that the only thing I really can do is write. Because it's a talent I was born with, and it isn't hard for me, when I have inspiration.
So I'm really focusing on my writing. Or trying to. I asked Mango to do some character design art for me, because that might inspire me to write more.

I even sent some of the first Bound book to my Mother for editing, (because it helps to have outside input, and she's all grammatically correct and whatnot,)  and even the first segment of Caldres's Bound to my sister. 

I'm that desperate for a muse.

Forgetting to forget that you're not mine.

Haven't been doing a whole lot these days.

Debating whether to start a study of the sky, it's said that it's never the same color twice..so if I set up a camera at the same spot, at the same angle, protected from the weather, and took a photo at the same time everyday, I could find out whether this was true.

I even have a second digital camera to do it with, since I have the one that I took to Japan, and the one Daddy left behind.
It's a matter of a make-shift tripod and a sheltered place to set it up, then.

Over the hill to the county line, crying,

I finished Saiunkoku Monogatori today, and cried all the way through the last few episodes- the comparisons they made between Sa Sakujun and Shi Ryuuki, that the only difference between them was the number of people they had to love was very depressing. The whole, Sakujun threatening to kill Shi Seiran thing, because he "wouldn't let someone who had others to love" take away the only person Sakujun did, was depressing in itself, mostly beacause I related to that feeling.


When you have precious few individuals that you honestly care for, you get horribly jealous of people who take those individuals away from you, people who don't need them, taking them without even realizing how much you need them.

Because there's so few people you can say you love, you treasure them all the more. The more people you claim to love, the less love you have to give them. The fewer people you love, the deeper you can afford to love them. If that care is too deep, they can't understand it, and it terrifies them, so you have to restrain yourself, because you'll lose them. But those sorts of people who can't understand the purity of that kind of care can't return it, so you end up burning yourself either way.

I've stopped enjoying the group-yay anime series as much, as well as school-based series, probably for that reason.

The world is made up of balance and reciprocity. For all my luck in work, school and travel, I'm cursed when it comes to people.

Through the red lights, flying,

Yeah, so, I went to Greece. And now I'm back. Well, I've been back for about a week, but I didn't feel like posting anything. So I didn't.

Whatever plant this is, I want one. It's a thorny bush, with mostly red & orangey flowers, but a few pure yellow ones.

It's getting troublesome to upload pictures everyday, because I have to spend 3 minutes or moving the card to my MP3 player which plugs into my USB port, then transfer the files, then pick one out & edit it.

I should buy a camera cable to make the process easier.

A tree snapped in half the other day, we had a windstorm. It wasn't a big tree, but still.



I wonder about myself a lot, in regards to sanity. I spent a couple minutes pacing by the front door waiting for the neighbors across the street to go inside so I could go get the mail. I'm still waiting. It seems like Mom & kids are visiting Grandparents.






I bought two more video games. I don't need them, and I don't really play all that much anymore. But. I bought them anyway. There were a good deal, and all. 12$ a piece for new games: Drakengard and Samurai Legend Musashi.
Musashi is like the Kingdom Heart's precurser, Square Enix should sue itself for plagiarism.
Drakengard is pretty good, it's one of those real-time battle games that I'm so terribly bad at, but I have yet to die on Easy. Go me. (I'm already stuck at the third major boss on Musashi, which is also a real-time fighting game..)

Hahah! They've gone inside! I can check the mail- in which there will be NOTHING FOR ME! But, once I've got it in my head that I need to check the mail, I can't put my mind to anything else until I do.